^{Deuteronomy 10}

17 For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality nor takes a bribe. ¹⁸ He administers justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the stranger, giving him food and clothing. ¹⁹ Therefore love the stranger, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt. ²⁰ You shall fear the LORD your God; you shall serve Him, and to Him you shall hold fast, and take oaths in His name. ²¹ He is your praise, and He is your God, who has done for you these great and awesome things which your eyes have seen.

Pastor was preaching Wednesday night and came to a verse here in this chapter of Deut. and I read on and read these verses and they hit me in the heart. This is our God, and we are to love as he loves and to be a representative of Him! And praise Him for the wonderful things He has done for us!

Tonight at choir practice as we were singing some thoughts just hit me and I wanted to share them tonight on my blog. We all go through rough times. The rain falls on the just and the unjust. It's our foundation that matters though. I thought about the different things I've been through as a person. I started back when I was a young person, innocent full of vigor and life, new to the knowledge of Christ, loved everyone, wanted to please everyone, I had a heart of wool. Then as time went on I became "spiritual." I looked at the faults of others, desired not to fellowship with those who didn't believe or even give them time, critical of the mistakes of fellow brothers and sisters, I felt as if I had arrived. One example of my unknown ignorance was a time when I was put in a leadership position in the nursery during Sunday School. A PRECIOUS friend that worked with me would come to church a few minutes late and we had to all be there at 9:30. She would come in 15-20 minutes late and I would get so frustrated and at times let her know. But little did I understand what she was going through ~ unsaved husband, three small children whom she dressed and brought to church by herself because she wanted them in the house of the Lord.

Now I said all of that to say this, I looked back on those things that I myself have gone through in the past few years. As a young child, growing up in an extremely strict home, being married to the song leader of our church who a few years later turned from the Lord a few months after we had our first child. Then we had our second, our third...I became my friend who was trying to get to church on time with three little ones and no husband. I remember looking at other couples sitting together, worshiping together, just hoping my honey would walk through the back doors, which he didn't for a long time. I then understood her predicament, her hurt, her pain. I look back at the sleepless nights of wondering how we were going to make a house payment, a car payment, or electric. I can feel the panic of the times Gracie and Linc both had extreme febrile seizures. I know the helplessness of not being able to do anything. I remember the night I spent alone because my husband was set up and had to spend a night in jail. I remember the look of bewilderment on my babies' faces wondering where their daddy was. I felt anger seeing his face plastered on the news media, not once but three different times in three different forms of media. I recall the night after we rejoiced over the graduation of my only sibling, my precious brother from high school, only to meet a few hours later in a police station sorrowfully hearing them say my father in law was brutally murdered. Again I can recall the anger I felt because of the media, the helplessness of wanting to be able to encourage and be strong for my husband and his family. I can still hear the voices of my babies to this day say "Mommy I miss Pa."

My heart has been broken, hurt, ripped apart, angered, and at the same time strengthened, made compassionate, with forgiveness and understanding. Why do we go through the things we go through? Why do we have to feel the things we do that so often hurt us so bad? We do because how else would we be able to relate with those we may minister to one day? I now know how that spouse feels who comes alone to church and is the spiritual support to the family. I now know the pain of death, financial hardship. I can relate to others and truly reach out with a compassionate heart understanding what that person feels.

That heart that once looked at others in a critical, haughty fashion, now can look at others with compassion. I PRAISE God for helping me, strengthening me, and allowing me to see what I am supposed to see through every situation! I praise God for bringing my husband back to Him and making him an even better husband, daddy and man of God than before! I praise Him for strengthening me and giving me "peace that passes all understanding" in every situation I go through! God is so good and so worthy of my highest praise.